This Healthy Change page was inspired by the work of Melissa Urban, co-founder of Whole30®
At some point during every meaningful life and healthy change, you will want to quit.
It might happen when you’re trying to eat healthier. It might happen when you’re exercising regularly, creating a budget, reducing stress, improving your sleep habits, or pursuing a personal goal you’ve wanted to accomplish for years.
The temptation often arrives suddenly.
One stressful day.
One disappointing setback.
One emotional moment.
One opportunity to return to old habits.
And in that moment, the decision can feel overwhelming.
Melissa Urban, co-founder of Whole30®, shares a powerful lesson she learned during her recovery journey. I related her information to any healthy change I may be focusing on. She explains that impulsive decisions often occur during what psychologists call a heightened state of arousal—a period when emotions are elevated, temptation is present, and our brains are focused on immediate gratification instead of long-term results.
We’ve all experienced this.
The cookie looks irresistible.
Skipping today’s walk feels justified.
The online purchase seems necessary.
The commitment we made to ourselves suddenly feels negotiable.
The good news is that we don’t have to make important decisions in those moments.
Instead, we can pause.
Here are three simple strategies inspired by Melissa Urban’s work that can help you stay aligned with the future you’re trying to create and staying on track with your healthy change focus.
1. Just Breathe
When temptation appears, your body often reacts before your mind has a chance to think.
Your heart rate increases.
- Your breathing becomes shallow.
- Stress hormones rise.
- You begin focusing only on the immediate reward instead of the long-term consequences.
This is your body’s natural fight-or-flight response.
One of the fastest ways to interrupt that response is through intentional breathing.
Take a slow breath in through your nose for a count of five. Allow the air to expand your chest and belly. Pause briefly. Then slowly exhale for a count of five.
Repeat several times.
Another simple technique recommended by researchers at Stanford is the “physiological sigh”—two quick inhales through the nose followed by one long exhale through the mouth.
The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is creating enough space between temptation and action to make a thoughtful decision.
Often, a few deep breaths are enough to break the cycle.
2. Tell on Yourself
Most poor decisions happen in isolation. When nobody knows we’re struggling, temptation tends to grow stronger.
Melissa describes how she learned to “tell on herself” whenever she felt vulnerable or tempted. Rather than carrying those thoughts alone, she reached out to someone she trusted. This principle applies to nearly every area of life.
- If you’re struggling with your eating plan, call a friend.
- If you’re discouraged about your exercise routine, talk to someone who supports your goals.
- If you’re tempted to abandon a commitment you’ve made to yourself, share what you’re feeling.
The simple act of speaking the words out loud often reduces their power. More importantly, it reminds us that we don’t have to face challenges alone.
Choose someone who genuinely supports your growth. Not someone who will encourage you to quit. Someone who wants the best for you and will help you reconnect with your purpose. As you move ahead with your plan for a healthy change, keep this in mind.
Sometimes courage looks like asking for support.
3. Put Yourself in a Time-Out
This may be the most powerful strategy of all. Instead of making a decision in the heat of the moment, delay the decision.
Tell yourself:
“I don’t have to decide today.”
- Give yourself 24 hours.
- Continue with your current plan.
- Eat the healthy meal.
- Take the walk.
- Stick with your routine.
- Then revisit the decision tomorrow.
What often happens is that the emotional intensity fades. The craving passes. The frustration decreases. The situation looks completely different.
This pause gives you time to ask important questions:
- Am I tired?
- Am I stressed?
- Am I lonely?
- Am I overwhelmed?
- Am I bored?
- Am I simply looking for comfort?
Understanding the real issue allows you to address the root cause instead of reacting impulsively.
Create an If/Then Plan
One of the smartest concepts Melissa shares is creating an “If/Then” plan. Instead of waiting for temptation to strike, prepare in advance.
Examples:
- If I feel stressed, then I will take a 10-minute walk.
- If I feel lonely, then I will call a friend.
- If I want comfort food, then I will drink water and wait 15 minutes.
- If I feel discouraged, then I will review my goals and remember why I started.
Preparation often beats willpower.
Keeping the Promise You Made to Yourself
One reason healthy habits are so difficult is that nobody sees the small decisions. No one applauds when you choose the healthier meal. No one celebrates when you go to bed early. No one notices when you decide not to quit. But those small moments matter.
Every healthy choice is a vote for the person you want to become.
The next time you’re tempted to give up, remember Melissa’s three-step strategy:
- Breathe.
- Tell someone.
- Take a time-out.
Most importantly, think about Future You. Future You is counting on the decisions you make today. And Future You will be grateful you stayed the course.
This blog, Lifestyle Path to Wellness contains a section for Baby Boomer Resources for other topics.
Credit and Inspiration
This article was inspired by Melissa Urban’s article, “Whole30 Tips When You Want to Quit,” and the principles she shares through the Whole30® program. The concepts have been adapted and expanded for general wellness, healthy aging, personal growth, and lifestyle change. Full credit for the original inspiration belongs to Melissa Urban and Whole30®. Here is the link to her latest book: The New Whole30: The Definitive Plan to Transform Your Health, Habits, and Relationship with Food